


Break/Mend

by Hapi (shinso)



Category: SK8 the Infinity (Anime)
Genre: Fluff and Angst, Genderfluid Nanjo Koujiro | Joe, Hospitals, Hurt/Comfort, No Beta Here, Other, Serious Injuries
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-28
Updated: 2021-02-28
Packaged: 2021-03-12 11:40:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,216
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29759070
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shinso/pseuds/Hapi
Summary: Kaoru lets out a deep breath and leans against the propped up pillows in his bed. He gazes at the ceiling."They said that... that I'll most likely not be skating ever again." He's shaking again, his teeth clench. "No skating, Koujiro. Not even standing on a board."
Relationships: Nanjo Kojiro | Joe/Sakurayashiki Kaoru | Cherry Blossom
Comments: 2
Kudos: 33





	Break/Mend

**Author's Note:**

> My first SK8 fanfic. Wild.

Koujiro should have known. The tournament duel between two of their oldest friends ended up pretty predictably, with Kaoru in the hospital and ADAM being the undisputed winner. Meanwhile, they themself won against MIYA by a hair's breadth...

Of course Koujirou was at the hospital as fast as they were allowed to leave S and the tournament behind. They do have a... complicated relationship with Kaoru, but they care for him deeply and wholly. Thanks to his AI, there shouldn't be any danger to his life, but Koujiro's partner still got beat pretty bad. Really, they should have known...

The nurses send them away without letting them see Kaoru and it bothers them. Yes, they know it was a bad fall and the surgeries will take some time, but they really wanted to see even just a glimpse of their partner's pink hair. It's nighttime, though, and Koujiro knows there's not a chance they're gonna see him before morning breaks.

So they leave, bad taste lingering in their mouth and fists clenched around their bike's handlebars. In their mind they already know that they'll get revenge on ADAM. For Kaoru. Whether he wants them to or not. 

The air is almost frigid when they get off their bike in front of their restaurant slash home. For someone that's usually never cold no matter the temperature, it's an odd feeling. They move their bike into their makeshift garage behind the restaurant and then proceed to let themself into the dining part of it. The warmth inside is a big relief...

When they're troubled, they either prepare food or simply eat, so that's exactly what they're going to do. Just a snack, maybe something Kaoru likes... oh, Kaoru.

Koujiro works on autopilot despite the fact that they're no master of the Japanese cuisine. Their thoughts are with Kaoru the entire time. Is he going to be alright? There's no point in running themself empty but the thoughts still appear in their mind.

Heavy accidents have made many skaters become unable to engage in sports ever again. Some even lost all feeling in their feet. What if... what would happen if...

Koujiro almost messes up the amount of rice. An amateur mistake it would have been, that, but they can't help it. They turn the stoves to lowest heat and lean their forehead against a shelf. A deep sigh escapes them. They, a notorious chef, almost screwing up... how embarrassing.

They should have a cup of cold water. it's not like them to be so...

So pessimistic? They never catastrophize. And yet...

It's a possibility. Kaoru may be dealing with serious consequences after being beat by ADAM. No matter how much they hate it, how much they fear it, it's an entirely possible outcome. An AI can only do so much to help. 

They fill a glass with water and gulp it down greedily. There's no point in all these thoughts. They don't actually know how Kaoru is, they can't find out before morning comes. All they can do is remind themself that these outcomes may also just not happen. Heck, he may even make a full recovery, he's Kaoru after all! Haha.

With a shake of their head they turn the stoves back on and continue making their food. Gotta stay positive. Always.

Maybe they can even put a plateful into the fridge and bring Kaoru some tomorrow... that is, if he's generous enough to even touch it. Koujiro snorts. Yeah, he'll be just fine, that stubborn punk.

\--

Sleep doesn't come to them easily that night despite the good food they indulged in. It's one of those nights where you're so tired that you can't sleep for Koujiro. Their mind is with Kaoru and they hate that they haven't even seen what exactly happened to him during the race.

In the preliminary rounds, two races happen at the same time, therefore they have no clue at all. They'll have to snag a video from Reki or someone later...

At seven am straight, they're up. They're not sure they even slept at all when they check the clock in the morning and their mind feels foggy. So drowsy...

Not even coffee helps, but when does it ever do anything for them anyway? Curse being immune to caffeine.

Whatever. They need to see Kaoru. Driving a bike probably isn't the best idea in their state, but when have they ever listened to the voice of reason in their head? They get on, forgetting about breakfast entirely, and head towards the hospital Kaoru is at. 

There's no point in doing anything if they're so occupied thinking of him. They gotta know how he's doing before they can get on with the day. They have to open the restaurant in a few hours... who knows if they'll be able to. The fatigue is bound to overwhelm them eventually. It always does in the end.

Koujiro is at the hospital reception when they realize they brought no gift. Not even a get well card. They even forgot the plate of fried rice they saved for Kaoru... How could they? Ugh, they'll just have to bring something extra great on their next visit. Once they're rested and have regained a clear head, they'll think about it.

Not now; they they're already on their way to room twenty six on the second floor. Kaoru probably isn't waiting; isn't expecting them. They know they wouldn't expect him to show up if the situation were reversed at least.

They shake their head and knock on the room, making sure not to be too loud. A nurse opens the door, grinning at them. Cute; she's a young redhead who seems to love her job. A lot. 

"Come on in." She opens the door fully and steps back into the room. Only one bed is taken - Kaoru looks worse for wear, laying there with casts on one leg and one arm - shoulder to fingertips. He stares at his untouched plate of breakfast without really focusing what's in front of him. It's an expression he wears once in a while; Koujiro calls it his lost in thought face.

The nurse saunters around the room, doing this and that without really paying attention to them, so they step closer to the occupied hospital bed.

"Kaoru." They greet and watch their partner jump a bit. He doesn't immediately turn their face towards them, but when he does, the expression in his eyes is... 

They have not once in their life seen him look this vulnerable. Without thinking, they take his healthy hand in theirs and squeeze gently. Just what has happened to make him lose his perfect composure so?

It's a dreadful feeling.

Even more so when they realize he's _shaking_. 

"Koujiro." He mutters and nods to the nurse. She's blissfully unaware of his attention, though, resupplying a shelf with some medical equipment they've never even seen before. They nod, getting the message. 

Kaoru wants her out of the room. No hard feelings, but so do they. There's obviously a lot to talk about but it's private affairs, so she's an unwelcome guest now. Even if she's just doing her work here.

"I'm done here." She says as if capable of reading minds. Her gaze falls on the untouched breakfast tablet and she's pouting. They know their partner isn't much for breakfast so they understand why he didn't eat, but still... they kind of know how she feels. "Won't you eat, if only a little bit, please?"

Kaoru looks away, muttering a 'no thank you', which makes the nurse sigh. She doesn't argue further, though, grabbing the breakfast tablet and leaving the room. 

Good. Now they don't have to ask her to leave. Kaoru lets out a deep breath and leans against the propped up pillows in his bed. He gazes at the ceiling.

"They said that... that I'll most likely not be skating ever again." He's shaking again, his teeth clench. "No skating, Koujiro. Not even standing on a board."

Ouch. How could this happen? The casts don't even seem that bad… wait, no skating? How did ADAM even manage to injure a skilled skater like Kaoru this badly? And why… would he do that? He used to be their friend. There's got to be a limit to what he'll do…

"No… skating? But…" Koujiro breathes, more to th vcemself than to Kaoru. They don't know if they can stomach that. After they had a fight with him, the two of them would go for a skate and eventually make up.

"Yes. No more skating." Kaoru repeats. He begins shaking again, more violent than before. "And… and he broke-- he broke my board. He broke Carla."

Breaking a skateboard? That's it, Koujiro's heard enough. This goes way too far, ADAM or not. That's not even--

A tiny sob escapes Kaoru. Confident, composed Kaoru, falling apart like this hurts Koujiro. They move to sit on the bed next to him and offer their open arms. It makes them glad that he accepts instantly and they hold him as tight as they can without jostling the injured limbs too much. 

They run a hand through his hair, feeling with their partner. It's good that he regains his bearings quickly; if he had seriously wailed his eyes out, Koujiro would have probably done the same being the sympathetic crier that they are. And yet, they somehow wish he'd let it all out instead of bottling it up for once. 

But that's a thought for another day. Kaoru begins talking of something completely different; he explains how ADAM beat him in detail. It's gruesome, and Koujiro isn't sure they can prevail in the tournament. 

"It'd be best if you didn't attend." Kaoru says once he's done talking about the tourney. His tone is almost commanding. "Actually, tell me that you won't. Just stay home, okay?"

They won't, and they know it. They'll beat ADAM and be done with their past once and for all. They'll beat him so thoroughly for Kaoru as well. And for simply leaving them behind.

"Sorry, Kao', but there's not a chance I won't race him." They squeeze his hand. It's clear as day that another fight is about to break out between them. Koujiro hates nothing more than that. It almost makes them sick to the stomach at times.

Though, they suppose that there's a good reason to argue about the tourney participation. Kaoru is only worried, they know that much. And skipping the tournament isn't the worst choice, either, but they've made up their mind. They'll participate and nothing can change their mind. 

Kaoru and them always make up in the end anyways, so whatever. They brace themself for his raised voice and various animal based profanities. 

"Leave." Kaoru says, slipping his hand out of theirs and turning his head away. His voice stays low, calm and composed. He… isn't mad. That alone is terrifying, but then he also bites his lip and clenches the bedsheet with his now free hand. 

It's almost like… "Kaoru, please, I swear I'm gonna be okay, I--"

"I said, _leave_." He raises his voice, just barely this time so Koujiro relents. They step away from the bed, looking at the door.

"I'll be back." They promise and exit, resolve steeled. Maybe there's some time to either skate for a bit or nap before they have to open the restaurant… they really need some stress relief right now. 

Hmm… sleepy. A nap it is, then. 

Kaoru's words never leave their mind.

\--

A few days and some hours later, the second round of the S skating tourney concludes. Langa is in the third round, Reki and Miya lost to their adversaries and Shadow boasts his lucky win. 

Koujiro isn't there to witness any of it. They're unconscious, in the back of an ambulance on the way to the next hospital. 

It takes them some hours before they retain awareness, but when they do someone awaits them. It's Reki and Langa, equipped with a basket of fruit and snacks. A get well card is tied to the basket's handle. 

Ah, so they're in hospital. What… happened? All they remember is the race with ADAM and…

Oh right. They were thoroughly beaten. Their leg is in a heavy cast and is cushioned on a few pillows. Their head hurts and their mouth is dry. What time is it? How long have they been out?

Wait. Their skateboard. It's broken, isn't it? ADAM broke it. Or did they dream that part? 

"Boys." Koujiro breathes, turning their head to face their visitors. Reki jumps, Langa raises both eyebrows. Almost brings a smile to their face; but only almost. "Sorry, but can you get me a glass of water?"

They're so parched. 

"Right, we need to inform a nurse!" Reki exclaims loudly and rushes out of the room. Langa places the basket on the bedside table and follows Reki without a word.

Tough luck. They're as odd as ever, those two. Koujiro has to sigh. Well, in that case a nurse would be more helpful anyway. They check the room they're in and see a middle aged man blissfully sleep next to them. Unlike Kaoru's room, this one has no more available beds than that. Maybe they're not even in the same hospital as him then?

Makes them a bit sad. They wanna see Kaoru and apologize. They should have heeded his warning and laid low. Now they simply fucked up the revenge they promised themself to get for him and… 

Maybe they won't be able to skate anymore, either. They begin to feel very aware of the entire situation. Their propped up leg feels… not right. Something is off. 

The door opens carefully and in steps a nurse with a kind smile. Why does she look sad, though? Why does she appear so… emotional? They begin to feel the uncomfortable heat of anxiety, spreading from their chest to their head and making them have uncomfortable thoughts. Bad news. She's got bad news for them, doesn't she? Oh no. This is where she tells them that they'll never be able to skate again, isn't it? 

Breathe. They can't appear anxious in front of her. In, out, in, out. Calm down. Whatever she's about to say may not even be that bad… right? Right!

Koujiro raises a hand in greeting and gives the nurse a somewhat believable smile. 

"Good to see you awake! I'm the head nurse, Hanegawa." She slightly bows, her braids bouncing along with the motion. She's pretty young to be head nurse. Impressive. "Now, how are you doing? Does your leg hurt?"

They shake their head. Actually… they don't feel much at all. Their leg is wonderfully numb. Devoid of any feeling.

Wait, numb?

"Just as we feared." The nurse sighs gently and pushes her glasses up her nose. "I'm very sorry but chances of ever being able to use your left leg ever again are as good as nonexistent. Of course we have prepared physical therapy and someone will come by later to talk about our programs in detail. For now… should I send those boys back in? Are you hungry?"

Not… not being able to use their left leg? Is this a bad joke? Are they still out and dreaming all of this? No… their head hurts and they still feel parched… this has to be reality. 

Then why? This is… 

"I want to be alone." They state, barely loud enough to be heard. The nurse nods, sad smile back in place.

"I'll see you in the evening, then." She promises gently. "Press the call button if you need anything. And… don't be a stranger."

The door opens, closes, and all Koujiro hears is static. Their leg is… paralyzed. Useless. Their board is broken. Skating? They laugh. And laugh some more. 

Skating is over for them. And now that they're this immobile they may as well sell their restaurant too. 

They don't have anything left. Their laughter turns into ugly tears and sobs. They slap their cast in frustration and clench their teeth. Why? Do they really deserve this? S… they can kiss S goodbye and… and…

They should listen to Kaoru once in a while. He was right after all. They should have stayed in bed instead of facing ADAM. Damn it. Damn it all.

Koujiro wipes their eyes over and over again but the tears keep coming. They've been skating for all their life, how… what are they going to do from now on… there's nothing left. 

The life they loved so much was simply taken away from them. They stare at the blank, white ceiling and try not to think about anything at all. 

For a while it even works; the tears slowly stop flowing and they begin feeling sleepy. Exhausted. Yeah, maybe sleeping is a good idea. What else is there left to do anyway? They close their eyes and pull the sheets up to their chin.

A few minutes pass as they slowly drift off, but then the door opens… loudly. There's no footsteps but… something enters the room regardless. Is that wheels? Maybe a wheelchair? Oh whatever it is, they'll pretend to be asleep. They don't wanna see anyone anyway. 

"Don't pretend you're asleep, Koujiro." The wheelchair rolls right up to their bed though and… that's Kaoru's voice. Ah… those boys must have told him about what happened. Well, there's no ignoring Kaoru so they open their most likely bloodshot eyes. 

"Here to say that you told me so?" They whisper, pressing their lips together. They don't wanna sound so… callous. It's not like them. At all. So they don't look at Kaoru, a bit afraid of what they'll see. 

Is he disappointed? Angry? Indifferent? They feel tears welling up in their eyes again. 

"Come on, not even I would go that far." He sighs. A warm hand sneaks under the sheets in search of his own, holding it tight once it's found. 

Ironically that makes them feel the reality of the situation all over again and they let out and undignified sob. They almost crush Kaoru's hand holding onto it like a lifeline. It's… over. All of it.

"Koujiro, look at me." He squeezed their hand as well, much more gently than they do. When has Kaoru last shown so much gentle kindness to them? It hurts.

They dare turn their head the tiniest bit, slowly meeting his eyes. His face looks almost indifferent, only the slightest kind of gentleness visible in his eyes. That's to typical for him, Koujiro wants to smile. And cry. Maybe at the same time.

"I can't feel my leg, Kao'." They loosen their grip on his hand a bit, playing with his fingers instead. "It's dead."

He simply hums and musters their propped up leg thoughtfully. 

"I'm sorry. I wanted to win. For you, as well, and…" They trail off, unsure what they even want to say. 

"I never asked you to, silly." Kaoru rolls his eyes at them. He does look touched, though. "But thanks."

Yeah, he didn't, but… they'd probably do it all over again if they had the chance to. For Kaoru, there's not much they wouldn't do.

Hmm, yeah they probably love him. 

The bed dips beside their legs and it makes them realize they were about to space out there. But now Kaoru is sitting on their bed with them, eyes fixed on theirs.

How did he even do that? With one arm and one leg in casts, that should be a dangerous manoeuvre. They want to scold him, but they're so grateful he's that close. They sit up the best they can and he moves closer in return. 

Just like magnets, albeit weak ones, they slowly slot together in an awkward hug. A mess of injured limbs it may be, but the physical affection feels so, so good.

They're not alone. How could they ever forget or doubt that? 

They lean their head against his shoulder and close their eyes. They have Kaoru and for this short moment it helps them forget all they've lost in the tournament. 

"So are we helping the boys win?" Kaoru asks after a few minutes of hugging them. He doesn't seem keen on letting go. How unusual.

"Well, they're fool enough not to resign, so I guess if it can help them in any way, we should." Koujiro leans back a bit so they can look into his eyes. They idly wonder if Langa and Reki have left by now… 

Why were they even at the hospital anyway? Teens these days…

"But before that, we'll have to get discharged." Kaoru says. "I don't know what I'll do until my body heals. I suppose, I could…" 

He trails off and their thoughts begin crawling back into darker places. Right. Everyday life. They're not looking forward to it. 

"Don't make that face." He rolls his eyes, poking the spot between their eyes. "I'm still thinking about it, but it seems a wise choice if you gave me a spare key to your home."

His face goes a bit red and the words leave his mouth so fast that it takes them a few moments to understand exactly what he just proposed.

Their heart rate goes up. Thank god they're not connected to whatever heart rate monitor. Does Kaoru… want to live with them? It's something they've dreamt about before. Many times even.

"Don't get the wrong idea." He gently pinches their cheek. "If I decide to do that, it will be nothing but a trial period."

"I like the sound of that." Koujiro wonders where their jacket is, actually. Their key is in there but… they don't know if anyone picked it up after the 'accident' at S. Oh no. And all their other spare keys are in their home. "I think I lost my jacket, though, back at S. My keys…"

"There's a rack by the door, it's hung there." Kaoru points towards the room's door. "I can just get it when I leave. If that's okay?"

They feel so emotional. Yes, Kaoru may have been their friend since middle school, partner since they were nineteen and lover for the past two years, but… this still feels like a huge step, no matter how familiar they are with him. He's been at their house so many times… but living together?

"I love you, Kaoru." They blurt out instead of simply saying yes and that it's okay to take the keys. It feels… overwhelming. They love. They love Sakurayashiki Kaoru. They love, love, love him.

They wanna rip open the window and shout out that they love him. Everyone needs to hear it!

"I love you. I love you so much." They continue to repeat their words, giddy with euphoric emotions. They do, they really do… love him… 

And yet all he does is stare in stupor. He's gone completely rigid in their arms. Huh? Was that too much? Even if it's true, maybe they should have waited or something?

They won't apologize though. They mean what they said and they'll stand by it. 

Still, what's up with that reaction? They tilt their head a bit and raise a hand to touch Kaoru's cheek. Is he okay? "Kaoru?"

It gets them a reaction; he blinks, then slides his uninjured hand over theirs on his cheek, slowly taking ahold of it. He doesn't utter a word, still looking as pensive as before, but…

Well, Kaoru is quite an eloquent person, but when it comes down to it, he prefers actions to nonsensical squabble.

It's just typical that he'd remove their hand from his face, twining their fingers and pressing their joint hands into the mattress. Next thing Koujiro knows is that he's kissing them with the kind of passion he rarely shows outside of skating. 

I love you too, is what he probably means when he instantly goes and kisses them again after breaking away. And again after that. And… 

Well, he doesn't have to say it. They never expected him to respond in any way, but they're happy he did. They move their free hand to his head and run it through his hair. Soft, maybe a bit dry… 

Kaoru hums and finally backs away after one last, long kiss. He's a bit red in the face but otherwise he seems composed. When doesn't he, though?

"Do you, really?" He asks, averting his eyes a bit. They nod immediately.

"Of course I do. I love you." They let their hand slip from his head, resting it on their lap. Kaoru treats them to a special sight for confirming their feelings again.

He offers the smallest and most genuine smile they've seen in a long, long time. 

"Thank you." He breathes, squeezing their hand. His "I love you too" sounds a bit like this: "I'll take your keys and wait for you back at the restaurant."

They love that as well. If he gets discharged first, he'll be the one waiting for them back home indeed. Just imaging that feels incredible. 

"Then I can't wait to get out of here." Koujiro grins. Kaoru sighs, but the genuine smile stays on his face. 

Maybe they can still be happy despite their newly acquired handicap, huh?

**Author's Note:**

> If you liked this, join my [lil server](https://discord.gg/YUkfjDCGz3), I'm bored.


End file.
